Anything Clever Involving "Fish" Is Pretty Gross

Remember when I made that Chick Pea "Stew" and bought saffron for it? Well, now I have a bunch (and by "bunch" I mean "about a teaspoon") of saffron in my apartment that I'd like to use because it was fucking expensive. Luckily, I have more than a few cookbooks that assume the reader is made of money and just has tons of saffron sitting around all the time. Hurray?

Sea Bass in Tomato-Saffron Sauce
Adapted from Power Foods.

1/4 cup sliced almonds
3 tbsp olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
1/8 tsp saffron threads
1 can (28 oz.) whole peeled tomatoes
salt
pepper
1 lb sea bass
1/4 cup dried currants
3 scallions, trimmed and thinly sliced


Either on your stovetop in a small pan or in your oven at 350 F, toast your almonds (about 3-4 minutes on the stovetop, about 6-7 minutes in the oven). Meanwhile, heat oil in a heavy pot over medium heat. Add garlic to hot oil and cook, stirring, for about a minute. Add red pepper and saffron; cook about another minute or until fragrant. Add tomatoes. Using your stirring utensil, break up the whole tomatoes. Add salt (about 1/2 tsp). Bring to a simmer and stir occasionally, cooking until mixture has thickened (about 15 minutes).

Cut fish into 1- to 2-inch pieces. Season generously on both sides with salt and pepper. Add fish to tomato-saffron sauce. Add currants. Cover and cook 5 minutes. Stir to combine and cover to cook for another 5 minutes. When the fish is flaky and no longer gelatinous (as fish is), it's done.

Transfer to bowl(s) and sprinkle with almonds and scallions.

Notes

• The original recipe calls for 1 1/2 lbs of sablefish which is higher in omega-3s and just one of those generally super-healthy fishes. My Whole Foods didn't have any sablefish but the fish guy called around for me and found out sea bass has a similar cooking profile and I think it worked out just fine. I went with only a pound because shit's expensive.
• Also, there is 1/2 tsp fennel seeds in the original recipe but I hate fennel and everything else that tastes like licorice. If you want to add these, do so when you add the red pepper and saffron.
• If you wanted to substitute crushed tomatoes for whole you probably could, but I liked having big chunks of tomato to bite into now and again. Your call.
• It was really wonderful the first night and kept fine, but was never quite as good. Definitely something to make for more than one person so it all gets finished in the same night.

Cost

• I made this last for 4 servings which happens to be what the book recommends. If you care about this kind of thing, each serving runs about 530 calories.
• Between the sea bass and the saffron, if you're starting from scratch this puppy is going to be pricey. For me it ended up at $7.05/serving.

A Little Something for The Heat

According to all reliable sources meteorology, it was Hot As Balls yesterday. Luckily, there are several little concoctions in my new cookbooks that I've been meaning to try that seem cool, crisp, and delightful.

Cumcumberade with Lime
Adapted from Super Natural Every Day.

1 cucumber
1 lime, the juice of
1/2 cup water*
3 cups ice
1/3 cup honey
1/4 tsp salt

Put all items in a blender. Blend until there are no more chunks of ice or blobs of honey (you may have to scrape down the sides). Take your pants off (if they're not already), and enjoy.

Notes

• The original recipe called for 1/2 lime but I didn't think was nearly enough so feel free to add as much as you like. Similarly, I thought the water worked out splendidly, but you may want to substitute it for limeade or lemonade if you happen to have some on hand (this may mean you cut back on the honey, though).
• I recommend taking your pants off because of the heat, not because I'm a perv.

Cost

• All told (chopping, pulling out the blender, measuring out the honey, etc) about 4 minutes.
• This made about a quart and since I only had to buy a cucumber and a lime, cost $1.50.

My First Date with Soba Noodles

As you've surmised by now, I make way more food than I can (read: should) actually consume in a reasonable amount of time. In an effort to correct that, I bought a cookbook that is specifically for one-portion meals. Being the leftover whore that I am, though, I doubled the recipe.

Soba Noodles with Edamame
Adapted from Serve Yourself.

4 oz. dried soba noodles
1 cup shelled edamame
2 tbsp sliced almonds
2 tbsp nut butter*
4 tbsp rice vinegar
2 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
4 tbsp hot water
salt
2 scallions, white and green parts, thinly sliced
1 bell pepper

Bring well-salted water to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add soba noodles and cook according to package directions (mine said 3 minutes). Use tongs to transfer noodles to serving bowl when they are done - keep the water. Bring it back to a boil over medium-high heat to cook the edamame according to package directions (5 minutes for me).

While edamame is cooking, toast almonds in a small skillet over medium-high heat or in the oven at 350 F until fragrant but not burnt (about 2-3 minutes). Transfer to a plate to cool and chop if you like. Once the edamame is done, combine with noodles.

In a seperate bowl, combine nut butter, vinegar, garlic and red pepper flakes. Add hot water from the noodle/edamame pot until the dressing has reached the consistency you want; I used between 3 and 4 tablespoons. Add salt to taste. If it needs to be tangier, add vinegar. Spicer? Add red pepper flakes. Etc.

Add dressing to noodles and edamame, along with scallion, bell pepper, and almonds. Toss to combine.

Notes

• The original recipe calls for almond butter but I had peanut butter already so that's what I used. My guess is you can use any nut butter you have on hand (though I'd exercise caution using anything homemade, if you know what I mean).
• The original recipe also calls for a red bell pepper but the orange ones were speaking to me when I got to the market. Red, orange, or yellow pepper would work just fine. I'm not sure about green but if you use it let me know how it comes out.
• Soba noodles, for those of you who've never worked with them, are sticky as fuck. It might be worth it to separate them a bit after they're drained so that when you "toss" to combine the whole meal at the end, you're not just pushing a clump of solidified noodles around.
• I recently invested in a bunch of tiny tupperware containers so when I ended up with 6 extra scallions, I just divided them into green onion pieces and chive pieces and packaged them up to store in the freezer. You could do the same to save some money and then just bust them out the morning before you need them again.

Cost

• As I said, I doubled the recipe, but you could easily multiply this up by however many nights you'd like to eat it or people you'd like to serve. I believe the soba noodles I bought were on the order of 9 oz. so assuming that for the ingredients I could have actually made 4 servings, this totals at $3.24/bowl.
• This took less than half an hour to cook and assemble.

This Ain't No French['s] Shit

First off, if you haven't see where this post's title came from, go do that and then come back: the best six minutes of your life await.

Second, I'm sorry this post is so late. I was searching for apartments in El Paso and the wireless in my motel room was spotty as hell. If it's any consolation, there will be another post coming on the heels of this one tonight.

Third, I'm not totally sure what inspired me to try to make mustard. Don't get me wrong, I love sauces and condiments, but if I ever have a craving for any of them it's usually something tomato-based (don't tell me I'm the only one who's ever ordered french fries just to have a vessel by which to deliver ketchup into my mouth). I found this recipe in one of my new cookbooks and it just seemed so simple I had to give it a go. Plus, as much as I love the idea of this particular book (title forthcoming), the author gets a little judgmental sometimes about which ingredients need to be homemade or sourced from an organic farm by Nordic virgins and the like, so I also partly made this to feel less judged by her.

Mustard
From Super Natural Every Day.

1/2 cup yellow mustard seeds
1/4 cup brown mustard seeds
1/2 cup powdered mustard
1 cup water
6 tbsp champagne vinegar
3 tbsp honey
1 1/2 tsp salt

Use a mortar and pestle to grind the mustard seeds; I tried using just a spoon and a bowl at first but it wasn't cutting it. You really will need a mortar and pestle for this, and the bigger, the better. I went cheap and found a small one for $4 but ended up giving myself wrist cramps because I could only grind about 2 tsp of seeds at a time. Mistake. Once you've ground about 2/3 of the seeds, you can stop.

Mix powdered mustard and water in a bowl with a whisk or fork. Mix in honey and salt. Now mix in seeds. Place into whatever container you plan to store it in for the next two weeks (that's how long it takes to mellow out and become edible). Stick in the fridge. If you're like me, you may want to can this because you don't actually use all that much mustard and you want it to keep. If that's the case, your local TrueValue or some such place will have canning jars and these jars will have basic instructions on the packaging for how to can things.



Notes

• This will look pretty thin at first, but that's okay. The longer it sits, the more it will thicken.
• Additionally, the longer it sits, the more the flavor will mellow out. If you taste this after two weeks and think it's still too strong, let it go for another week. Mustard doesn't really "go bad" but it does lose flavor.
• That said, if you like your mustard pungent, freeze the extra when it gets to the flavor you like so it stays this way until you're ready to use it.

Cost

• This made just over 2 cups of mustard. That's a LOT of mustard. I lost my receipt (I know, I know, I'm sorry) but between the seeds and the champagne vinegar I think it came to about $14.
• Buy your seeds in bulk from Whole Foods to save money.
• This takes very little active time, so that was a plus. Not including the seed crushing, you're looking at about 3 minutes.

How was it? Really good. This is also a great recipe to toy with in terms of more or less vinegar, more or less honey, etc. Go nuts.

Supposedly Chickpea Stew

As some of you may have noticed, Blogger was down for a few dozen hours this week. I'd like to say that's why this post is so late coming to you but truly, I made it last Saturday, I'm just lazy. Well, that and I took up knitting for the fourth or so time. A friend of mine is worried that my "Martha Stewart kick" is going to result in me dropping out of medical school and marrying myself off to some frat bro type to cook and bake and knit and child-rear my way into old age. I assure you all, that isn't going to happen.

Chickpea Soup
Adapted from Super Natural Every Day.

2 tbsp olive oil
1 large yellow onion, finely chopped
salt
15 oz/3 cups chickpeas, canned or cooked*
4 cups veggie or chicken broth*
3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 pinches saffron
1 cup plain yogurt
sweet paprika
fresh cilantro, chopped

I cooked my chickpeas with half a chopped onion to help impart flavor.

In a pot you think will accommodate all of the preceding ingredients, heat olive oil and add onions and a few big pinches of salt (about 1/2 tbsp if you want to measure it). Cook until the onions are softened. Stir in chickpeas, broth, and garlic. *If you're going with canned, skip the rest of this aside. If you want to cook your own, you'll need to soak about 1.5 cups  of dried chickpeas in a large bowl with several inches of water above them at least four hours, but preferably overnight, before draining them. After draining, place in a large pot with a three to one or four to one ratio of water to peas and ample salt. Cook until desired firmness; mine went about 45 minutes and were the consistency you'd find from chickpeas at a salad bar. I'd recommend letting them go longer since they're going to go straight into the stew and softer would be better.

Once the peas are added to the oil and onion vessel, bring the mixture to a simmer. Remove from heat.

In a medium bowl, whisk saffron and egg yolks. Whisk in saffron. Slowly add 1 cup of the broth mixture to the yogurt-yolk bowl, stirring constantly. Very slowly whisk this back into the pot of soup. Return the pot to medium heat and cook, stirring continuously for about 5 more minutes without allowing the broth to quite simmer. Stop stirring when it hits the consistency of heavy cream, supposedly. I say supposedly because mine never quite got there and stirred that fucker for a good 15 minutes before abandoning it.

Ladle into individual bowls and add as much paprika as you like with as much cilantro as you like.

Notes

• Yes, it really is important that you go slowly when I mention going slowly. You're trying to temper the egg yolks so you don't wind up cooking them apart from the rest of the stew and ending up with scrambled yolks in the middle of everything. Gross.
• I happen to be a fan of thick soups (and, in general, thicker everything) and this wasn't as thick as I wanted it to be. In an attempt to remedy that I spun a bowlful through my blender, but don't do that. The ground chickpeas just manage to dull the flavor of the broth which is quite good when left alone.
• You can use water instead of broth, but I heard somewhere (it might have been from Emeril) that you should never add water to something when it came be something else that besides imparting moisture can also impart flavor. It's a rule that makes sense so it's worth heeding. I think vegetable broth tastes like ass so I used chicken, but you do your thing.
• If you buy plain yogurt just for this recipe but then have nothing to do with it, stick it in the freezer. It'll keep there for a long while and it's one of those ingredients that I find myself having to re-purchase again and again because I don't eat it on its own and it keeps going bad. This will save you some money and perhaps some trips to the store next time.
• "Saffron is fucking expensive, do I really need it?" If you're going to make this, I think so. The broth was definitely delicious because of the saffron. But at something like $16/bottle, I wouldn't be at all offended if you skipped this recipe. If there's a flavor you think you could substitute that you really love, go for it and let me know how it turns out.

Cost

• This made about six servings for me but cost an assload because of the saffron: about $5/bowl.
• Not including cooking the chickpeas separately, this takes about 30-40 minutes to put together which really isn't bad. Double or triple that if you're making your own chickpeas, not including their soaking time.

How was it? Good, but not great. If you're a huge fan of chickpeas though I think it'd be worth it to try this one out. If you're not, save the money.

Semi-Homemade: A More Correct Definition

For every amusing (Paula Dean), charming (Ina Garten), brilliant (Nigella Lawson) star Food Network gifts the public with, there are legions of offensively insulting and ill-qualified windbags polluting the airwaves. The worst offender by far is resident alcoholic Sandra Lee, host of a show laughably titled Semi-Homemade. I'm not sure how adding water to powdered Jell-O pudding mix and topping the finished product with canned whipped dairy substitute is even SEMI-homemade.

I bring this up because last week a friend's boyfriend asked if I had a homemade marshmallow recipe I could share. As it happens, I do. However, I'm not a giant fan of marshmallows. They have a firm place in hot cocoa and s'mores and ... that's it as far as I'm concerned. So: if I am to make an entire batch of marshmallows, what's to be done with them? I'll tell you what: pair them with homemade graham crackers and make--you got it--semi-homemade s'mores.

Unlike Sandra's recipe for semi-homemade s'mores, which I'm sure would read something like:

Step 1: GO TO THE STORE AND BUY CHOCOLATE AND GRAHAM CRACKERS AND MARSHMALLOWS.
Step 2: GET WASTED!
Step 3:  LAYER EVERYTHING YOU JUST BOUGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. DON'T FORGET TO TAKE IT ALL OUT OF THE PACKAGING! OMFG GUYS! YOU'RE, LIKE, TOTALLY CHEFS!!
my recipe involves some actual kitchen-time.

Marshmallows
Adapted from Baking at Home.

Flourless cooking spray
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup light corn syrup*
3/4 cup cold water
2 pkgs (4 1/2 tsp) powdered unflavored gelatin
2 tsp vanilla extract
2-ish cups powdered sugar

Prepare your baking dish (I used a 9x11 because it's what I had but the book recommends an 8x8) by greasing with cooking spray. Place a sheet of parchment paper in the dish such that you can press it to the bottom of the pan and still have a few inches of overhang over the sides--with a square dish, you'll need two pieces of parchment paper, one running in each direction; for a rectangular vessel you may be able to get away with one big piece. In the end, make sure your parchment paper is pressed tightly to the bottom and sides of the dish and then cover the parchment paper in a light layer of cooking spray.

Combine sugar, honey, corn syrup and 1/4 cup cold water in a heavy saucepan. Stir until sugar is fully moistened and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Stop stirring as soon as it reaches a boil but continue to cook until it reaches 240 F on a candy thermometer. Remove from heat and pour into whichever bowl you're comfortable taking a pair of beaters to (or the bowl of a stand mixture fitted with a paddle attachment if you have it). Let cool undisturbed until it reaches 210 F. It's okay if it cools past this by the time you get back to it.

While that's cooling, sprinkle gelatin over the rest of the water in a small bowl. Stir to break up clumps and let it sit for about 2 minutes to soften. Heat over a double boiler or in the microwave for about 20 seconds on low; you want the granules melted and the liquid transparent (it may have a yellowish tint, that's okay). Stir the vanilla into the gelatin. Stir this into the sugar mixture.

Beat on high until white, foamy, and will hold medium-firm peaks when you invert a whisk or the beaters. The took me about 15 minutes, but I was also a little hesitant to take my $7 Chefmate electric mixer to full power. Don't be afraid, just do it. It'll save you time.

Pour into your prepared pan and smooth down with a spatula, preferably of the offset variety. Freeze for 30-45 minutes or until set.

Once set, lift parchment paper from the pan to remove the entire marshmallow slab. Get a new sheet of parchment paper and sift about 1 cup of powdered sugar all over it. Go back to the parchment holding your marshmallows: remove the paper and cut the 'mallows into 1-inch squares or whatever shape and size makes you happiest. (It helps if you lightly oil the knife, or spray it with cooking spray like I did.) Place the 'mallows on the sugared parchment paper and when they're all assembled there, sift the remaining 1-ish cup of powdered sugar over them. Roll them around until they are all coated in sugar and dry to the touch (they sweat, you'll see).

Shake off the excess powdered sugar and place all marshmallows in an airtight container. I cannot stress enough that the Ziploc plastic tupperware containers are not airtight. It won't ruin your confections, but it certain doesn't help them to have prolonged exposure to air.

Tips and Tricks:
-  These definitely taste like fresher versions of your store-bought marshmallows, so if you're a giant marshmallow fan, it would be worth the effort to make these. If you're not, the Jiffy (or whatever) ones work just as well for just about any/everything.
- Shit gets sticky. Just be warned.
- You will not use the entire 2 cups of powdered sugar to coat these so just gather it all neatly on the parchment paper and put it back in the bag from whence it came.
* A note about corn syrup: Please don't lose your shit that this has corn syrup in it. Corn syrup and high-fructose corn syrup are different things. The basic science here is that corn syrup is made of the same principle biochemical component as honey: glucose. If you have a problem with corn syrup for health reasons, you should also have a problem with honey. High-fructose corn syrup has been modified with enzymes to include the disaccharide fructose.

Serving and Pricing info: I had all the ingredients to this so, you know, free for me. Gelatin might be the only thing you don't have laying around and it isn't terrible expensive, so you're looking at a few cents a bite. Serving totally depends on how you cut them.
Active Time: 40 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour, 20 minutes


Graham Crackers
Adapted from Smitten Kitchen.

2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar
1 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp salt
7 tbsp unsalted butter
1/3 cup honey
5 tbsp milk
2 tbsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 tbsp granulated sugar
1 1/2 tsp cinnamon

Whisk first four ingredients together in a medium or large bowl. Cut the butter into small cubes and add it to the dry ingredients. Using a pastry blender or your fingers (I used the latter), gently combine the ingredients until you have a course meal.

In another bowl, mix the next three ingredients together. Once combined, add them to the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Dough should be soft and sticky.

Lay out a large piece of plastic wrap and lightly dust it with flour. Turn the dough out onto the floured wrap and mold it into a 1-inch thick rectangle. Wrap it tightly and place in the refridgerator for at least 2 hours (can also be place in the freezer to cut the time in half). When the chilling time is over, remove half the rectangle from the fridge/freezer to work with and return the other half to continue chilling. Meanwhile, take granulated sugar and cinnamon and combine to make cinnamon-sugar topping.

Dust a clean counter space with a lot of flour. Keep the container of flour nearby as you will need to constantly reflour your work surface, your hands, and your rolling pin. Roll the dough out to 1/8-inch thick. Cut desired size and shape of cracker out of the dough; the traditional size is about 4 1/2 x 2 inches but I eye-balled mine at whatever size I thought s'more-appropriate at the time. Later I got bored and used maple leaf cookie cutters.

Cover a baking sheet with parchment paper. Pre-heat oven to 350 F. Place crackers on paper with at least 1/4-inch space around them on all sides. Sprinkle with desired amount of topping. Place baking sheet in freezer for 15 minutes. Continue rolling out crackers. When you run out of dough from both half of the rectangle, combine your scraps and roll them out together and continue making graham crackers until you are actually all out of dough.

When baking sheet is sufficiently cold, place in oven and cook for 12-15 minutes or until golden. Repeat topping, chilling, and baking process until you run out of dough. Cool on wire racks and store in an airtight container.

Semi-Homemade S'mores

2 homemade graham crackers
1-2 homemade marshmallows
1+ square(s) good quality chocolate

If you have a gas stove, I think you can figure out what to do. If you don't, set an oven rack at the highest position it can go. Set the oven to broil. Place a marshmallow on a graham cracker on a baking sheet and place under the broiler for 1-2 minutes. Remove from oven when marshmallow is toasted as desired and place chocolate atop it. Place another graham cracker on top of the chocolate. And yes, if you made the crackers and 'mallows, you are a fucking chef (er, baker). Be proud.

The Take Home: This was a fun project, but definitely not worth the time committment. Unless you just literally have nothing do for 10 hours, in which case, more power to you.

The Post Wherein I Go Mainstream

Despite how terribly trendy bacon has become, especially bacon in sweets, I still love it. Bacon and I have a special bond. I'm sure you think you and bacon have a special bond, maybe you even have signs about and pictures of and novelty items depicting bacon around your home, but you don't know bacon like I know bacon. One day, in a more bacon-centric post, I'll explain how I'm so sure of this and perhaps even let you in on the origins of Honest Like Bacon. For now, this treat will have to suffice.

Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies
Adapted from Beth Michelle.

10 strips of bacon
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup sugar
10 tbsp butter
1 1/8 cup flour*
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1 egg
1 cup chocolate chips

1. Carmelize bacon thusly: place the strips in a single layer on a foil-lined baking sheet (again, preferably one with a lip). Spread 1/4 cup brown sugar over the strips and place into a 375 F oven. Allow strips to bake for about 6-7 minutes before removing them, flipping them over, and sprinkling the new side with another 1/4 cup brown sugar. Repeat baking process. When done (but not burnt!) remove from oven and place on paper towels to drain and cool. Lower oven temp to 350 F.

2. While bacon is cooling, cream together butter, white sugar, and remaining brown sugar. In a separate bowl, whisk together flour and baking soda.

3. Add egg and vanilla to butter-sugar mixture. Once well combined, add dry ingredients* (I found this dough to be rather liquidy for cookie dough so if you decide you need to add more flour, you should. I know I should have).

4. Now that the bacon is sufficiently cool to handle and drained, chop it up into chocolate-chip sized pieces. Add it, and the chocolate chips, to the cookie dough.

5. Place tablespoon-sized balls of dough on a greased baking sheet. Cook for 15-17 minutes, or until preferred doneness.

Active Time: 20 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour


Tips and Tricks
- If you have a chocolate chip cookie recipe you love already, simply candy the bacon as directed above and add it to your recipe (though potentially cut the amount of salt in it in half); there's nothing in particular about this recipe that's suited to carry bacon, nor is it necessarily one of my favorite cookie recipes overall.
- Drain the damn bacon. I am super impatient and didn't do this, which was probably part of my liquidy dough problem.
- Grease the cookie sheets with the left over bacon grease. You'll be glad you did.

Serving and Pricing info: This yielded 20 cookies for me, so you'll probably get between 1.5-2 dozen. All I had to buy for this was bacon so it ended up costing $0.20/cookie. Not bad.

How was it? The smoky bacon flavor was definitely a great compliment to the chocolate, although as I mentioned before, the cookies themselves weren't fabulous. Next time I'll use my own recipe.

Remember That Time I Said I Was Busy?

And you guys got all excited because you're busy too? And then I started posting and you thought, "Wait a tick, THIS SHIT TAKES 2 HOURS ... that girl is a lying bitch" ? Well, I'm sorry. This recipe though is quick. So quick you might not believe it at first.


Chocolate Cinnamon Ramekin Cakes
Adapted from eat.repeat.

3 tbsp butter
4 tbsp brown sugar
1 egg
3 tbsp milk
dash of vanilla extract
3 tbsp cocoa powder
1/4 tsp cinnamon
dash of salt
1/4 cup flour
chocolate chips

1. Melt the butter in a microwave-safe measuring cup or dish that can hold at least 2 cups.

2. Add sugar to butter and stir until combined. Beat egg in until combined as well.

3. Add vanilla, milk, cocoa powder, cinnamon and salt. Stir until combined. Add flour, stir again. Add chocolate chips (about 1/4 cup or however many you like) and stir.

4. Divide batter between two small, microwave-safe vessels and microwave for about 1 minute, 45 seconds. Ta-fucking-da, kids. Cake.

Tips and Tricks
- I used fat-free milk for this because it's what I had around, but it likely would have been better to use at least 2%. Maybe even half-and-half.
- Use any kind of chips you like; I had mini semisweet and some white chocolate around so that's what went in. I'm sure peanut butter chips, butterscotch chips, milk chocolate chips, etc etc would work well.
- Feel free to top this bitch with some vanilla ice cream.

Serving and Pricing info: This makes two cakes so depending on how hungry you are, that's one or two servings. I had everything I needed for this so it was free for me although it uses so little of so many staple ingredients that it should probably be free for you too.

How was it? Not the most amazing chocolate cake ever, but definitely great for the amount of time and effort it took.

Don't Mess With Tex-Mex

For some weeks now I've been craving enchiladas. Knowing full-well that I wouldn't get the specific enchiladas I wanted (there's a place in El Paso called Kiki's and it's literally the only non-academic thing I'm looking forward to about moving there because it serves the most incredible sour cream chicken enchiladas) I decided to experiment a bit and wound up with enough food to fill my refrigerator and freezer for what will probably be the next two weeks.

Greek Yogurt Chicken Enchiladas
Adapted from Learning to Live without A Microwave.

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (or 4 half breasts, as they are usually packaged)
olive oil
salt
pepper
4 cloves of garlic, minced
3 Serrano chiles, diced
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp flour
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups Greek yogurt
1 tsp cumin
3/4 cup cilantro, chopped and divided
8 fresh tomatoes*
cayenne pepper
12 corn tortillas
canola oil
2 cups Monterey Jack and/or Cheddar and/or Pepper Jack cheese, shredded
1/2 large onion, diced
2 husks of fresh corn

1. Heat a cast iron skillet (or a regular skillet if you don't have cast iron) over medium heat and add olive oil. Generously season chicken breasts with salt and pepper. Cook the chicken breasts about three minutes on each side. They will not be cooked through but that's okay since they're about to go in the oven. In fact, if all the breasts fit in your skillet at once, you can place that baby directly in your oven and let it hang out for 30 minutes at 350 F. If size is an issue (tehe), transfer all breasts to a baking pan large enough to accommodate them and place that in the oven.

2. Once the chicken is in the oven melt butter in a medium saucepan. Add serranos and cook until they're soft, about 4 minutes. Add garlic and cook for a minute or so until you can smell it. Add flour and mix until you've got yourself something resembling paste. Pour the broth into the pot and whisk constantly until the sauce has thickened, about 14 minutes. (If you're all, "Fuck that, I'm not stirring for 14 minutes straight," the important thing is just that you don't let the bottom of the sauce burn. So if you need to do some sort of interval of 30 secs stirring, 30 secs rest, go ahead. But if stirring a thin sauce is really taking it out of you then you could probably count it as your cardio for the day, Sargent Lazypants.)

3. Stir yogurt, cumin, cayenne and 1/4 cup cilantro into the sauce. Remove from heat. Note: your chicken should be finished by now. Take it out of the oven and set it aside because you're going to want to let it cool as much as you can before you start shredding it. Maybe even pop it in the fridge.

4. Halve the tomatoes* (the original recipe calls for tomatillos but Whole Foods was out when I went; tomatoes made a fine substitution but my final result didn't have the same tang that it would have so this is a Your Call situation when you get to the produce section) and place them all on a foil-lined baking sheet, preferably one with a lip all around it. Move oven rack to the highest position and set the temperature to broil. Broil tomatoes until blackened, about 5 minutes. Turn the oven temp back down to 350 F when you're done because you're going to use it again.

5. In a blender, puree yogurt sauce and tomatoes to make the final sauce. Shred chicken with a fork. The corn is totally optional but if you're using it, you'll want to cut it off the cob now along with dicing your 1/2 onion if you haven't already done so.

6. Heat skillet over medium-low heat. Add just a little bit of canola oil and once it's hot, place one tortilla in at a time, warming on both sides. Yes, you're essentially lightly frying your tortillas. Yes, this is absolutely critical. And why are you arguing about frying something anyway? If you need to add more oil as you go, feel free to do so.

7. Assemble the enchiladas! I'm not going to give you measurements here as you know the size of the tortilla you're working with and I assume have some basic grasp of the ratio between the amount of filling you can use based on the size of the wrapper. If you don't, then perhaps achieving delicious enchiladas shouldn't be your priority right now. Place chicken, onions, corn, any other veggies you'd like to add, and a sprinkling of cheese on a tortilla. Roll as tightly as you can and place into a sauced baking dish. (By sauced I mean there should be a thin layer of the sauce covering the bottom of your cooking vessel.)

8. Continue assembling and rolling enchiladas until you have run out of tortillas and all of your rolls are tightly packed in baking dishes. Cover with the rest of the sauce (yes, all of it) and top enchiladas with whatever remaining cheese you have. If you have no remaining cheese, then find more. There's nothing wrong with adding more cheese. Ever. On anything. I ran out of room in my 9 X 11 pan so I ended up making the rest in a 9.5" pie dish and a 10" glass skillet. Big. Ass. Recipe. Bake in pre-heated oven until the top is browned and bubbling, about 25-30 minutes. Garnish with remaining cilantro.

Tips and Tricks
- You're probably pretty familiar with sour cream chicken enchiladas and that's what this recipe originally was, though as I've discussed before, Greek yogurt and sour cream taste nearly identical. I tend to prefer the yogurt because I usually have it on hand anyway and because it packs a substantial amount of protein that sour cream just doesn't.
- There's nothing wrong with cutting this recipe in half. In fact, it's probably smarter to do that unless you just love having leftovers for weeks/stocking your freezer.
- If you wanted to add a jalapeno or use those instead of Serranos, that would be fine. You can also leave out the cayenne if you're not a huge fan of spice but you should know that if you choose to do this, I've just lost at least half the respect I had for you.

Serving and Pricing info: If you think 12 tortillas means this has twelve servings then you're probably right unless you have some sort of super human appetite. This shit is filling. I bought everything for this except the yogurt, oils, salt, pepper, garlic and onion (all of which I had already) and it came out to about $3.25/serving. Keep in mind, though, I did my shopping for this at Whole Foods so if you don't care about where your chicken or produce comes from then you could probably whittle a dollar off of that figure per serving.

How was it? Filling and tasty. Not to mention a nice balm for my Texas-sickness.